Okay.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
9:26 PM
Why do I always find a reason to really really hate you? I just don't get it. You are being unreasonable lately. So unreasonable, that I get to be really mad at you without you doing anything to make me feel better. Yet you still have the guts to tell me that I was being unreasonable? This is shit. You really make me feel like trash, that I don't mean a single worth. I'm so mad right now that all I want to do is tell you that you are not doing a great job being my you-know-what. I really really wanted you to feel sorry and all. But everything just backfires again and again and again. See, I just can't. I'm really really mad, but I'm weak at the same time. I think that I have given so much in this relationship that I don't want it to end. See, this is important to me. But if you don't give it the same importance, I don't know if this can still be fixed.
Depression.
Monday, April 20, 2009
7:31 PM
Buti na lang anjan si Don. ^_^ 
So Called Drama.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
1:02 AM
Have you ever loved to the point that one day you'll come down to realize you that love was not enough?
I feel so sad, so sad that all I can do is cry. Cry, whatever cry means to you. I know, this is so stupid. I know crying is stupid. I can't help it. I was happy, very very happy that I didn't realize I forgot how others feel. He could have just told it the instant he felt it.
Know what, I think I need a shrink. I have way too many crazy things that goes on my mind. And voicing them out makes matters worse. I am not shallow as far as I know, but what I know is that I tend to OVERREACT on things. I tend to be angry. Angry at whoever I can be angry to. When I'm angry, all I can feel in ANGER. Plain anger and nothing more.
I can't help but think what went wrong. I know it was a stupid stupid idea one and all. I need him. I know I need him. I just don't want to admit that I'm that weak. I just wanted to feel needed too. Not just someone who can come and go yet no one can care a damn. I wanted to feel special, in a way that whenever I'm gone, he can feel sorry for himself for losing me. But NO. This man is tough. So tough, that I can leave and he just makes me feel that I can be easily replaced. See, all I wanted was the "assurance" that when I feel like leaving, he would hold me back. I have never felt so much stupidity in me than that. I can practically taste the stupidity in my mouth.
I know this is so so wrong. I just wanna feel loved and be chased when I'm leaving. Is that too much for me to ask?
Yet I understand that this is all my fault. He just wanted to lose my grip. I'm so sorry for ever making you feel trapped in my emotions, especially my anger. I know I have a lot to apologize about. I just don't know how to change. I'm trying my very very best to. I wanted to. Because I wanted you to feel that I will do anything for you. Same thing I wanted myself to feel from you but you can't give.
I just wish we could be happy again. I may sound skeptical, but this is exactly how I feel. Call me stupid or whatever, but this stupid girl loves you more than anything or anyone in this world.
The Accidental Barbie.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
12:00 AM
Barbie is like the idea of a perfect girl. That is why it is in every little girl's dream to look like a Barbie. I mean, who doesn't want to be all dolled up and pretend she's the prettiest girl in town.
For one night, I felt I was one. And guess what? I even got to spend it with my very own Ken. Awww..
I found out something really disturbing.....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
10:23 AM
...magkamukha pala kame ni Pooh. Haha..
Newfound Love
Sunday, September 28, 2008
8:02 PM
Months ago, I remember I posted something about someone who "went away". I found someone new, and boy! It was worth losing the other one. =p
Cyber Kamote.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
10:49 PM
I used to be a kid. Everyone did. And whenever they ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I always go for the cheesy easy answer, to be a teacher. I made myself believe that I wanted to be a teacher. Or so I thought. When I reached high school though, I changed my mind. I don't want to teach. It's not what I want anymore, it never was. At that point, I don't know what I want to do with my life.
Until now, I still don't. It never crossed my mind that I would take up engineering. I hate math. I hate math to death. I hate the people behind math. I hate people who don't hate math. I just plainly hate math. And now, I'm hating math even more while trying my best luck to pass all the effing math subjects that I must take.
Unfortunately, I still don't know what I want in life. I'm not like others that envisions their future. I'm a person who don't care what my future brings. So be it. I don't know where I'm going. And someday, I want something, someone, somehow, to wake up my sleeping hope to make me realize what I want to be in life before it's too effing late.
I just hope I can finish what I've started. I hope electronics and communications engineering will bring out what's best in me.
